Ohio Pharmacist works on Ford Creme

Massilon, Ohio (AP): John Dretner, a longtime Massilon pharmacist known for his compounding services for natural hormones, has been working on a new Ford Creme, for topical use in healing. Dretner claims that this ointment, now in its testing phases, should heal many skin conditions, from acne to shingles. "This ointment will have all sorts of uses in our nation this summer. You know, we have lots of healing to do, especially in the hot summer months."