Tuesday, January 02, 2007

In Effort to Top 'Bama, Purdue Offers Saban The Entire State of Indiana

West Lafayette, Ind. (UPI): Today, in an effort to improve the Purdue Boilermakers' weak appearances in the postseason, the Purdue athletic department announced that they would fly from West Lafayette to Miami to offer Dolphins coach Nick Saban the entire state of Indiana.

Purdue coach Joe Tiller, resting after his Champ Sports Bowl loss to Maryland, expressed surprise. "Nick is a fine coach, I knew him when he was at Michigan State. But the entire state of Indiana? They only offered me Tippecanoe County 10 years ago. But heck, that is big time sports, what can you say?"

Tiller said he was approached to be coach emeritus, and would call special teams plays from the pressbox if Saban accepted the offer.

Saban is currently being wooed by the Alabama Crimson Tide, who would like to have him take over from Dave Shula and bring the Tide back to its former glory. Merchants in Tuscaloosa are already offering Saban Caps, made of houndstooth but with a sportier brim, to both bring back the memory of the legendary Bear Bryant and to point to the future rise of 'Bama pigskin prospects.

Officials at the university in Tuscaloosa are offering Saban $40-$50M to take over as coach. They are unable to offer him the entire state, however, as Auburn already has protested this possible move to counter Purdue's offer.